Cut the meatball!

My kids have a problem with learning new pieces. From one reason only:
I still haven't met a kid that actually enjoys that process and if my memory serves me right I didn't really enjoy it either when I was little.

By learning a new piece I mean: reading notes one by one, then linking them and being careful of the rhythm, watching all the signs (sharpeners, diminish, crescendo/decrescendo)...all the "boring" stuff as kids perceive them.

And because they don't like the boring stuff, they're not careful so they make mistakes= they become cranky, impatient and some become fine with knowing just one song really well and playing it the whole time.

Kids want to play the song as soon as possible .They want the final product and they want it fast.
They want it so much that they will struggle, ignore mistakes and move on just to get to the last bar.

*I am just coming out of a piano lesson so this is really funny for me*

Then I jump in and ask them to play the first two bars 5 times, challenging them to concentrate really hard and play everything right (instead of saying "with no mistakes").
Then I ask them to do the same thing with the following two bars.
Finally I ask them to link all 4 bars.

In no time they know the first section and have a surprised, almost shocked happy smile with little proud sparkle in their eyes.

At the end of this "miraculous" process, I ask them if their Mum ever cooks meatballs? (some mums apparently make really small meatballs so I then have to find a different object to make my point)

Q: "Do you put the whole meatball in your mouth and eat it in one bite"?
A: "Nooooooooooooooo" (giggles)
Q: "Well, why not"?
A: "Because it's too big and I will choke".
Q: "So, what do you do"?
A: "My Mum cuts it for me".

Always cut the meat ball, and be sure you will not choke.
If you then chew patiently and with full awareness, the digestion will be better as well:)

How often (in a situation that makes us feel impatient, stuck, incompetent...)the whole point is to just Cut the meatball??!!

Name things right!

Few nights ago I ate half bag of Haribo chewy gum bears (no judgments please).


Obviously that's not the best thing to do before going to bed.
You better take my word on this one!


The next day I posted this on Facebook and interestingly it provoked a lot of comments. 
Hey it's Haribo gum bears-sweet/tastes good, who cares about resilience and leadership :)


My Yoga instructor jumped in with a question:
"What made you do it?" 
My reply was:
"My very kind, nice brother putting the bag of Haribo under my nose at late hours"
He then replied:
"Aaaahhh those other people always doing something to us"


Yes, he always knows how to hit a nerve.


I ate those chewy gum bears because of my weakness for sweets, candies and chocolate (aaahh chocolate!). I ate them because I couldn't resist although I knew I should.


This is the RIGHT and ONLY cause of my action.


This trivial event, for me is a perfect example how often we  I are am unable to name things right, meaning we  I lack awareness of how things really are.


And when it comes to naming thoughts, emotions, fears, hopes and reactions it can get more messed up.
Well, the effects are far worse than one night of bad sleep and sugar rush at midnight from gummy bears.


Through Yoga and a lot of personal reflection I realized the importance of naming things right, because it allows us to see ourselves (and therefore others) more clearly. 


In order to name we need to ask. What and Why?


And when I do it actively and consciously every day it makes me feel lighter.
Very often it is a filter on its own, especially when other people and reacting to them is involved.




Hey, did I just write my shortest post??!!! I think I did. YeeeeY.

What we're taught and what we teach

I became a piano teacher almost 4 years ago. I was 20 years old then.

I thought I don't want that. I was very loud when declaring that I don't want to teach till I get older, I want to have a concert career before that...and all that bla bla.

And as you may or may not know, the Universe has funny ways of doing something and then giggle at your surprise and confusion. 

I graduated in June, spent the summer feeling completely clueless as to what am I supposed to do now. Unlike now, when I am constantly reflecting "What I want to do", back then I was concerned with  "suppose to do".

The summer was over and the school year just beginning. 

One day in early September on my way out of the Music Academy, the chief of the Keyboard Department at the State Primary and Secondary Music School approached me with a piece of paper saying: "This is a list of kids I would like you to teach". (That's the moment when the Universe giggles).

In that very moment felt I want that. It felt right.

I wasn't sure about anything else, the career I had imagined before and if I really want that, but I was sure about teaching. 

I have always, especially after all the bad experiences I've had, emphasized the importance of a high quality educational system. 

By educational system I don't mean just great books, great working plan, great schools. 

Above all I mean good, dedicated, inspiring, motivating, humble, resilient educators. 

This was my chance to be that. 

So, I took the offer and started. 

I had 5 kids to start with but the number got bigger quite fast....to make it clear at the beginning, so that any confusion is avoided. 

I often say I have 15 kids now, and people give me reeeeally weird looks.

By my kids I mean my piano pupils who range from 6 year olds to 18 year olds (oh,yes! the difference is amazing:).

And I fell in love, in love with the kids and in love with the process. 

I felt and I still feel every day, so privileged to witness their excitement  when they discover something I take for granted and don't even think about anymore (like how can the right hand play one thing and the left hand something completely different,wooooow), the sparkle in their eyes after the first concert, the process of facing responsibility and realizing what stage fear is....

I am now on the other side, I am witnessing what I was going through years ago.

But, I never thought I would learn so much, that I will be so challenged by 6 year olds to question a lot of my behavior and approach not just to teaching but to life as well. I feel like I'm growing up and developing with them.

One girl that I started teaching last year challenged me to really deeply think about this. Every time she would make a mistake she says: "I'm stupid, I'm so stupid". I was shocked by that. 

But what I noticed after becoming aware of that one girl, was that every kid has a different, more or less negative reaction to making mistakes.

Mistakes are the normal, healthy and I believe the only way of learning. 

But, only if we don't fear them. 

Only if we have built an understanding what mistakes are and how to deal with them. And precisely this is the great responsibility of the teacher! Before dealing with the actual mistake and resolving it, the teacher has to give time to working on what mistakes mean, why they happen and what to do next. 

I encourage my kids, I challenge them to explore the new, to find out things on their own and I tell them that they will make a lot of mistakes while trying that. Only because it's new and still unexplored! 

I tell them that I made a lot of mistakes when I was their age and I am still making a lot of mistakes when I'm learning a new piece.

It's so interesting when you give a personal example, when you tell them that you were once at their age. 

Because kids often perceive us as a "ready product" and it makes such a difference, when they discover that their teacher used to be a kid. 

This might sound silly to a grown up, but kids really relate to the teacher's personal examples.

This approach obviously goes deeper than to just "how to learn" a new piece of music.

If we teach kids to be afraid of mistakes (by not re-checking our approach, vocabulary and methodology) we create generations fearful from the new and the different, scared to try it out.

I believe we are all teachers in one way or another.

Mother Theresa said: 

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”

That's teaching. That's teaching and passing on a powerful message.

I'm putting an accent to the importance of teaching kids, because they're like sponges. They absorb everything, they're still so pure that every word we use has an impact on them. 

They still don't have habitual defense mechanisms. We develop those through time.

But it's not that different with grown ups.

It doesn't matter if you're not a teacher teacher (involved in the formal system) . 

If you are a parent, a grand parent, a brother or sister, a cousin, a friend....you are a teacher to so many!

So, when you're talking with someone, when someone is sharing their wildest dreams or deepest fear with you, really ask yourself: "What is my teaching right now"?

I am really interested to know who was the most important teacher in your life so far? Was it a teacher teacher, or a random stranger you met? What were they like, how were they? What was their teaching?