When b2 and g3 get stuck

“Music takes us out of the actual and whispers to us dim secrets that startle our wonder as to who we are, and for what, whence, and whereto.”

* Ralph Waldo Emerson  Thank you Mr.Emerson for the perfecting opening. I feel that playing this blog post would be probably more true, but I am also challenged to put the thoughts in words as well. I had a very interesting Yoga class on Tuesday.  One ridiculous, stupid and a bit unfortunate event on Tuesday morning got me really upset, sad and angry and I carried those three companions everywhere with me throughout the day.  When later that evening my Yoga instructor asked us: "Are you well?" I answered "No". I didn't plan to answer, or thought about talking...that NO just came out of my mouth on it's own. In that very moment I realized that I really needed to talk. He asked me why and I re-told them the story of my morning.  He then very wisely led me through a series of questions, just to reveal the answer I knew already.  He finally asked: "How could you change that feeling" and I answered "We need to find a way to let go of things", and he asked "We or you"? That got me thinking about "I" speech and how much we encourage it during the reflection sessions on our leadership trainings. Emphasizing its meaning and gently pointing to people that they we can only talk about their our experiences with certainty.  I decided that March will be (among the rest) a month when I will look after using "I" speech.  And for me, "I"speech goes deeper than just speaking. It's "I" living, "I" serving, "I" helping... So, what was it that got me upset that day? Injustice and inequality.  The lesson: I value justice and equality, they are among my most firm values, they're a strong foundation of my intent in everything I do.  I had said on twitter the same day, that a blog post "I am not my wallet" will be coming soon, but I didn't write it because  lots of details needed explaining for the whole story to make sense.  But the summary is very simple: Good doctors should not forget to be good human beings. A patient is a patient, regardless of the doctor being a friend with the patient or not, regardless how much money the patient has or doesn't have...And the same goes for professionals in all fields of work. I wanted to tell the doctor about what I like to call "Circle of our actions".  The way he runs his practice, divides his patients to: more important and less important based on their finances.  I am a piano teacher. Artists plus/or teachers struggle with making money (especially in state institutions) around the Globe. Not being well paid can easily become an excuse for not doing your job properly.  What would happen if I divide my students in the same categories? And how will the doctor feel if his child happens to be in the less important category?! The Yoga class helped a lot. I did let go of the sadness and angriness and I realized that they come from a place of love and deep passion about change towards the good for all. The next day I was practicing the piano in my room at work, late at night after working hours.  Two keys (b2 and g3 to be more specific:) keep getting stuck whenever they're used. It's so funny how it annoys the kids when they first discover it.  The physical and emotional reaction of kids to annoying things always fascinates and amuses me, pulling hair, banging on the keys and crying being just a few.  They don't suppress feelings and that's beautiful!  And then they get used and enter the habit mode.  As I was practicing I realized that I have developed a special technique, different for different pieces depending on the requirement.  Basically it involves one hand being used to unstuck the key after it's been used and stuck. Ha ha, this is still funny, it's sort of an insiders joke, but I hope you'll grasp the silliness of the situation. It was really interesting to laugh out loud in an empty school late at night but it actually made me think:  How many stuck keys do I have in life, and how many mechanic reactions I have created to unstuck them?  And to how many stuck keys I am used to the point of not having any reaction to them anymore? I started to unstuck some of them, that were instantly noticed.  Today I spent a good few hours working on my journal and answering the questions I've been avoiding, because of (what proves now to be) irrational fear of not having any answers or having far too many.  My piano at home doesn't have any stuck keys, so my "circus" skills are not used but I still giggle when I come to b2 and g3. To finish of as I started:  “Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and cannot remain silent” *Victor Hugo